Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the amount of jobs across four industries in the Unites States' economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, employment in retail and healthcare sectors have increased over time while agricultural jobs display decline from the start. Manufacturing industry contributed highly to employment in the initial years but experienced sharp decrease after 1980.

There were 6 million retail jobs in 1960 which escalated to 16 million in 2020 reaching its peak. Healthcare industry too experienced its peak at the same level in 2020 even though it started with the lowest employment number in 1960, accounting for only 3 million jobs. Conversely, agriculture sector began with 6 million jobs in 1960 but decreased to less than 3 million in just next 20 years. Since then, it plateaued at this level for some year before experiencing another sharp decline after 2000.

The manufacturing sector started off well in 1960 with 15 million employment, highest during that time. This industry reached its peak in 1980 at 20 million jobs before facing decline: a trend which continued year on year marking 13.5 million jobs in the final year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the peak of the manufacturing sector in 1980 versus the growth in retail and healthcare. The data points are generally accurate and support your descriptions well. To reach a higher band, ensure that your overview is even more distinct from the body paragraphs and consider grouping the sectors more strategically (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined) to enhance the logical flow of your analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs that focus on specific sectors. You use cohesive devices such as 'Conversely', 'Since then', and 'before facing decline' to connect ideas effectively. However, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, some sentences feel slightly disjointed, such as the transition between the agriculture and manufacturing sections. Improving the variety of linking phrases would help the text flow more naturally and elevate the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly, using terms like 'escalated', 'plateaued', and 'sharp decrease'. There are minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'amount of jobs' (should be 'number of jobs') and 'contributed highly' (should be 'contributed significantly'). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, some phrasing is slightly unnatural. Focusing on more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive structures will help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. However, there are several grammatical errors that persist, such as 'employment in retail and healthcare sectors have increased' (subject-verb agreement: 'has increased'), 'display decline' (missing article: 'a decline'), and 'for some year' (should be 'years'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing your control over articles and subject-verb agreement will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.