Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in millions in four sectors that is Manufacturing , Retail , Agriculture and healthcare of the United States economy between the year 1960 and 2020.
To begin with, There were about 15 million jobs in the sector of manufacturing in USA in year 1960 which than gradualy increased to 20 million in 1980. By the year 2000 is decreased to 17 million which further went below 14 million in 2020 .The Retail industry had 6 million job in 1960 where a stagnent increase was shown to 16 milllion till year 2020.
Furthermore, Agriculture sector had 6 million jobs in 1960 whereas it was decreased to around 4 million in year 2020. In 1960 Healthcare jobs were 2 miilion which increased to 16 by 2020.
In conclusion, Jobs in healthcare were increased whereas agriculture sector jobs decreased.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have provided data points but lack a clear, analytical overview that highlights the most significant differences or patterns across the entire period. For instance, the conclusion is very brief and does not synthesize the information effectively. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive overview in the introduction or as a separate paragraph and ensure you meet the minimum length requirement to allow for full development of the data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', 'In conclusion'). There are also issues with referencing and flow; for example, the transition between the manufacturing and retail sectors is abrupt. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your sentences flow more naturally into one another. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs needs more attention to achieve a higher band score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic. You rely on simple verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased' repeatedly. There are also some spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'gradualy' (gradually), 'stagnent' (stagnant), and 'miilion' (million). To improve, incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline'. Using a broader range of synonyms will help demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language and improve the overall quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'illustrates the information about the number of jobs in millions in four sectors that is Manufacturing', where the relative clause is poorly constructed, and 'in year 1960' (missing articles). There are also punctuation errors and issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'Jobs in healthcare were increased'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including the correct use of articles and prepositions, and ensure that your verb tenses are used consistently throughout the report.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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