Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the given line graph demonstrates the information about the number of occupation in four sectors of the economy in America from 1960 to 2020 overall , it can be seen that retail was the highest job source in US in 2020 , while job in agriculture was the lowest in the same year , although all jobs sources followed an upward trend , manufacture and agriculture followed downward trend In details, a significant rise was seen is health care from 1960, approximately 3 millions to 16 millions in 2020 . 50 million job source was in manufacturing in 1960. this rose to 20 million in 1980. after that figure decreased dramatically to near by 13 millions in 2020. In the case of Retail, a sharp incline was recorded in job sources in us between 1960, 5 millions to around 15 millions in 2020 . 5 millions job source in agriculture in 1960 which fall to 3 million in 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
You have identified the main trends and provided data points for the four sectors. However, there are significant inaccuracies in your data reporting. For instance, you state that manufacturing started at 50 million and rose to 20 million, which is logically inconsistent. Additionally, you claim retail was the highest source in 2020, while the data suggests healthcare is higher. The overview is also slightly contradictory, as you mention all sectors followed an upward trend before noting that manufacturing and agriculture declined. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your figures with the graph and provide a more accurate summary of the key features.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is divided into paragraphs, but the structure is quite mechanical. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes misused, such as 'In details' instead of 'In detail'. The flow between sentences is often abrupt, and the lack of proper punctuation—specifically the excessive spacing and missing full stops—makes the text difficult to follow. To reach a higher band, you should use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'conversely', 'subsequently', 'in contrast') and ensure that your paragraphing is clearly defined to separate the overview from the supporting details.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and limited. You frequently use the word 'source' and 'job' in ways that are not always natural, such as 'job source'. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'incline' when you likely meant 'increase' or 'growth'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, it lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. Try to incorporate more specific terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and avoid repeating the same basic nouns and verbs throughout the report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacture and agriculture followed downward trend'), missing articles (e.g., 'in US'), and incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'seen is health care'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also a major issue, with missing periods and irregular spacing throughout the text. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for articles and verb tenses will help improve your accuracy significantly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.