Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line chart illustrates information about the figure of professions in four categories of the finance in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that the healthcare and retail industries' jobs soared in 2020, while they were one of the lowest conducted sectors of the economy. Although, the manufacturing conducted the peak in 1960, it declined slightly.
Initially, as far as Agriculture industry is concerned which was accounted for just above 5 million, same as the individuals who were in retail section in 1960. In spite of the fact that the retail sector increased significantly about 10 million in 60 years , the agriculture sector decreased slightly by around 2.5.
Secondly, despite of the fact that the manufacturing industry soared roughly 5 million in 1980, it dropped substantially. Nevertheless, the people who worked in healthcare industry about around 2.3 million, they boomed and became the most populated jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying trends across the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial and contains inaccuracies. For instance, stating that healthcare and retail were 'one of the lowest conducted sectors' in 2020 is factually incorrect based on the provided data, where healthcare clearly becomes the highest. The overview is present but lacks precision. To improve, ensure that the data points cited are accurate and that the comparison between sectors is more clearly defined. The response addresses the prompt but lacks the depth required for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'Although, the manufacturing conducted the peak' and 'Secondly, despite of the fact that' are grammatically awkward and disrupt the flow. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus rather than jumping between sectors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and sometimes inappropriate for an academic report. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'figure of professions', 'finance' (instead of economy), and 'conducted the peak'. The phrase 'most populated jobs' is also imprecise. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision and the repetitive nature of the vocabulary prevent a higher score. Focus on using more precise terminology related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'which was accounted for just above 5 million' (passive voice error) and 'despite of the fact that' (incorrect preposition usage). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are also inconsistent. While the errors do not completely prevent communication, they are frequent enough to lower the band score. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like incorrect prepositions and unnecessary passive constructions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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