Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of employment opportunites in multiple divisions like Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economoy in the US range between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Healthcare and Retail sectors had seen an inclined trend. However, Manufacturing and Agriculture had seen an declined trend. In Manufacturing area, the jobs in the year 1960 are 15 million and it reached its peak of 20 million in the year 1980, furthermore it started to fall gradually and reached 13 million in the year 2020.

Agriculture and Retail sectors started at a same level of almost 6 million jobs in the year 1960. Furthermore, Retail had seen a increased trend and reached 15.5 million at the end of 2020. However, Agriculture had seen a downward trend and reached 2.5 million in the year 2020. Agriculture is the least job sector among the all. Healthcare sector had seen a upward movement and reached the same level of Retail at the end

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in Healthcare and Retail versus the decline in Manufacturing and Agriculture. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped, and the description of the Healthcare sector is incomplete, as it ends abruptly without providing the final figure. While the key features are highlighted, the comparison between sectors could be more analytical. To improve, ensure that all data points mentioned in the prompt are fully described and that the overview clearly synthesizes the most significant trends across the entire period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'In addition' are used to link ideas. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. The final sentence is incomplete, which disrupts the flow of the conclusion. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus that leads the reader smoothly through the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the reader to understand the trends. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'inclined trend' instead of 'upward trend' or 'increasing trend', and 'declined trend' instead of 'downward trend'. Additionally, there are minor spelling errors like 'economoy' and 'opportunites'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations for describing graphs, such as 'experienced a significant rise' or 'witnessed a steady decline', and proofread carefully to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writing uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'jobs in the year 1960 are 15 million' (tense inconsistency), 'at a same level' (article usage), and 'among the all' (redundant article). The final sentence is a fragment, which negatively impacts the overall grammatical control. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage when describing historical data.

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