Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line chart illustrates information about the figure of professions in four categories of the finance in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that the healthcare and retail industries' jobs soared in 2020, while they were one of the lowest conducted sectors of the economy. Although, the manufacturing conducted the peak in 1960, it declined slightly.
Initially, as far as Agriculture industry is concerned which was accounted for just above 5 million, same as the individuals who were in retail section in 1960. In spite of the fact that the retail sector increased significantly about 10 million in 60 years , the agriculture sector decreased slightly by around 2.5.
Secondly, despite of the fact that the manufacturing industry soared roughly 5 million in 1980, it dropped substantially. Nevertheless, the people who worked in healthcare industry about around 2.3 million, they boomed and became the most populated jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, stating it 'conducted the peak' and then 'declined slightly,' which does not accurately reflect the data trends. Additionally, the comparison between sectors is limited. To improve, you should ensure that your data points are accurate and that you clearly distinguish between the starting and ending values for each category. The overview is present but lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant changes over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'Although, the manufacturing conducted...' and 'In spite of the fact that...' are used incorrectly, leading to awkward sentence structures. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words (e.g., 'whereas,' 'in contrast,' 'subsequently') would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and natural collocation. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'figure of professions' instead of 'number of jobs' and 'lowest conducted sectors' which is not standard English. You attempt to use some descriptive verbs like 'soared' and 'boomed,' which is positive, but these are sometimes applied to incorrect subjects. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to data description and ensure that words are used in their correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect preposition usage ('in 60 years' instead of 'over 60 years'), subject-verb agreement, and awkward sentence construction, such as 'the people who worked in healthcare industry about around 2.3 million, they boomed.' These errors are noticeable throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.