Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The given graph illustrate details about the number of jobs in four different sector like manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 to 2020 in US.
As per the data, in 1960, manufacturing sector was at the top with 15 millions of jobs, where as healthcare was least in demand around 3 millions of jobs. However, retail and agriculture were almost at the same level at 6 millions of jobs. In 1980, manufacturing was rise by more 5millions and agriculture dropped by 3 millions in jobs. While, retail and healthcare were slighlty incrased by 2 millions in jobs.
In 2000, jobs were slighlty dropped in manufacturing and agriculture. In contrast, retail and healthcare both were more than double in demand than 1960. At the end in 2020, agriculture was least in demand and reatil and healthcare were highest in demand. Manufacturing was slighlty down at reached at nearly 9 millions in jobs at the year.
In summary, healthcare and retail were gain popularity over the year and generated highest number of jobs. Manufacturing was leading in 19s but slight dropped in 20s in demand. However, agriculture was quite least demanded in jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends in the four sectors. You successfully identified the key features, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, stating 'manufacturing was rise by more 5millions' is grammatically incorrect and imprecise. Additionally, the description of the trends could be more analytical by comparing the sectors more effectively rather than just listing changes chronologically. To improve, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that the overview highlights the most significant shifts across the entire period rather than just year-by-year changes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for different time periods, and a summary. The use of cohesive devices such as 'In 1980', 'In contrast', and 'In summary' helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'At the end in 2020'. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect the data points more fluidly rather than relying on simple chronological markers.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points, using terms like 'sectors', 'demand', and 'generated'. However, there are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'gain popularity' instead of 'gained popularity' and '19s' or '20s' to refer to decades, which is inappropriate for an academic report. Some phrasing is repetitive, and there are minor spelling errors like 'reatil'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'The given graph illustrate' (subject-verb agreement), 'manufacturing was rise' (incorrect passive/active voice), and 'slighlty down at reached at' (preposition and verb form errors). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors in tense and sentence construction prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tenses when describing past data will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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