Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The supplied line graph shows the jobs in millions of the specific four category of the economy in the US from the year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is quite evident from the graph that the two sector, retail and healthcare demand raised passing the years. Whereas, agriculture sector dropped down and the manufacturing job fluctuated in between.

To commence with, at first year the highest number of jobs were found in manufacturing department about 15 million followed by retail and agriculture job around 6 million and the least in healthcare only 2 million.

Later passing year, changes were seen where the demand and number of jobs increased in retail and healthcare. By 2020, both sectors peaked by 16 million. Whereas, downfall was seen in the agriculture sector leaving only 1 million jobs. Lastly, manufacturing job reached peak about 20 million in year 1980 but in later the number of jobs dropped to 13 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. You successfully highlighted the key features, such as the peak in manufacturing in 1980 and the final figures for 2020. However, the response could be improved by providing more precise data points from the graph to support your descriptions. For example, stating 'about 15 million' is acceptable, but ensuring all figures are accurately referenced against the graph would strengthen the report. The summary is generally accurate, but ensure that all comparisons are explicitly linked to the timeframes provided to fully meet the requirements for a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing the trends. There is a clear progression of ideas from the start to the end. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'To commence with', 'Later passing year'). To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas more naturally. Referencing is generally clear, but some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, which affects the overall flow of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', and 'downfall'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'the two sector' (should be plural 'sectors') and 'demand raised' (should be 'demand rose' or 'increased'). The phrasing 'at first year' is also slightly unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that word forms are used correctly in context. The current vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the two sector' (singular/plural agreement), 'demand raised passing the years' (awkward phrasing), and 'manufacturing job' (should be plural 'manufacturing jobs'). There are also missing articles throughout the text (e.g., 'in agriculture sector'). These errors are frequent but do not impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, consistent use of articles, and refining your sentence structure to reduce the number of minor errors.

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