Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The multiple line graph outlines the data about the number of jobs in different departments of economy for instance., Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare in the US within the timeline of 60 years starting from 1960 to 2020.
In general, we can seen that the division of 'manufacturing' first went up then starts fallen down across the years. The 'Retail' department has significantly increases in recent years. While, 'Agriculture' sector declined considerably followed by 'Healthcare' segment which has experienced a sharp rise in all years.
In 1960, there was 15 millions jobs in 'Manufacturing sector' which has gradually increases up to 20 millions in 1980, and then starts fell to a low slightly below 15 millions jobs in 2020. By comparing, the second 'department Retail' a little above the 5 millions occupation in 1960 which has rose significantly and reached a peak of a 15 million in 2000 and a bit above 15 millions in the 2020.
On the other hand, the 'Agriculture sector' there was 5 millions positions in 1960 then fell to a low below 5 millions all over the years. In contrast, in 'Healthcare division' 0 to 5 millions jobs in 1960 which went up 5 millions in 1980 and experienced a sharp rise above 15 millions positions in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response successfully identifies the main trends for all four sectors. You have provided a clear overview and supported the main features with data points. However, the report lacks precision in some areas; for instance, describing the Agriculture sector as 'below 5 millions all over the years' is slightly vague given the graph shows a clear downward trend. Additionally, the description of the Healthcare sector starting at '0 to 5 millions' is imprecise. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited more accurately and that the comparison between sectors is more explicit throughout the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In general', 'While', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by mechanical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'By comparing, the second department Retail'. The use of referencing is sometimes repetitive, and the transition between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'significantly', 'considerably', and 'experienced a sharp rise'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'departments of economy' instead of 'economic sectors' and '15 millions jobs' (the plural 's' is incorrect when preceded by a number). Some phrasing is also unnatural, such as 'starts fallen down' and 'has rose'. To improve, focus on correct noun-number agreement and more precise collocations related to data description.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow. Common issues include incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'has gradually increases' instead of 'has gradually increased') and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'the division... starts fallen down'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the unnecessary use of a period after 'instance'. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for tense consistency and basic grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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