Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Specified line graph reveals the information about the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and health care of the economy in the United States between the year 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the year between 1960 and 2020, the sector health care and retail goes to increase. And the sector manufacturing and agriculture goes to decrease.
From the view of line graph it shows that the year between 1960 and 2020, the job sector of health care and retail goes to upward. In 1960, the sector health care moves from the lowest point and reached at 15 million in 2020. The other sector retail gave the good performance move from the 5 million in 1960 and break at 15 million in 2020. The sector health care and reyail
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you identify the main trends (health care and retail increasing, manufacturing and agriculture decreasing), the analysis is incomplete. You stop abruptly mid-sentence, failing to provide a full summary or cover all data points effectively. To improve, ensure you provide a comprehensive overview, include specific data points for all four sectors, and complete your sentences. The current response is too brief to fully address the requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is poorly structured. While there is an attempt at an introduction and an overview, the body paragraph is fragmented and ends abruptly. The use of cohesive devices is very limited and repetitive (e.g., 'the sector... goes to'). There is no clear progression of ideas, and the lack of a concluding sentence or a fully developed body paragraph makes the text difficult to follow. To improve, use linking words like 'whereas', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' to connect your ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive. You rely heavily on simple phrases like 'goes to increase' or 'moves from'. There is also a spelling error ('reyail'). To achieve a higher band, you should use a wider range of vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'decline', 'surge', or 'plateau'. Avoid repeating the same sentence structures and vocabulary choices throughout the text. Using more precise terminology for describing data trends will help demonstrate a better command of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The grammar is frequently inaccurate, which hinders communication. There are issues with article usage ('the year between'), verb tense consistency, and sentence construction. For example, 'the sector health care and retail goes to increase' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'the health care and retail sectors increased'. You rely almost exclusively on simple sentence structures. To improve, focus on using a mix of complex sentences and ensure subject-verb agreement. Proofreading for basic errors in tense and word order is essential for higher accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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