Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given line graph gives the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.The years are on X-axis and jobs in millions are on Y-axis.

Overall,Retail and Healthcare are frequently increasing over the years and number of jobs of agriculture are decreasing contantly.

IN 1960,the number of jobs of manufacturing was 15 millions.In 1980,the number of jobs of manufaturing was increased to 20 millions.After that the number of jobs decreased significantaly and went to about 12 millions.

The slope of jobs of Retail and healthcare increased constantly with years.From 2 million to about 15 million the slope of jobs increased.

In 1960, the number of jobs of Retail decreased over the years.From 6 million,the number of jobs of retail decreased to 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you identify some trends, the analysis is incomplete and contains factual inaccuracies regarding the data (e.g., stating retail decreased when the graph shows an increase). The overview is present but lacks sufficient detail to fully capture the main features of the four sectors. To improve, ensure you carefully interpret the visual data and provide a more comprehensive summary that covers all categories over the entire period. You must also ensure the response meets the minimum length to avoid a penalty.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into short paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by the lack of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are abrupt, and the progression of ideas is not always clear. For example, the jump between describing manufacturing and retail lacks a linking phrase. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices such as 'in contrast,' 'furthermore,' or 'meanwhile' to connect your points. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus to improve the overall structure of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and limited. You frequently use the phrase 'number of jobs' and 'increased/decreased,' which restricts your ability to demonstrate a wider range of language. There are also some errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'contantly' (constantly) and 'significantaly' (significantly). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and academic collocations related to data description, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a sharp decline.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are some attempts at basic grammar, there are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'the number of jobs of agriculture are decreasing'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after commas and periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for minor errors. Incorporating a few complex sentences—such as using 'while' or 'although' to contrast trends—would help demonstrate a better range of grammatical structures.

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