Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The provided graph illustrate the information in the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the USA between the years of 1960 and 2020. Overall , In the years of between 1960 and 2020m the sectors like manufacturing ,Healthcare ,Agriculture and Retail , are increased and also be decreased with the chain of life. Years 1960 , 1980 ,2000 and 2020 faced many ups and downs. All the four fields faced this issue. Manufacturing and healthcare field had be increased in the year of 1960 ,however the field of manufacturing had decreased in 1980 ,.However , the healthcare field not be decreased both of all the years . Secondly, the fields of agriculture and retail faced some ups and downs .The field of retail had increased in the year of 1960 to 2020 , it reached from 5 percent to 15 percent in the year of 15. While, the agriculture field had faced a lot of downs .In the year of 1960 the agriculture percentage is 5 and it is decreased with the passage of time and it reached on the mid of o to 5 percentage.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the task but fails to provide a clear or accurate summary of the data. While you identify the four sectors, the description of trends is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, stating that manufacturing 'decreased in 1980' is vague, and the claim that retail reached 15 percent in the 'year of 15' is unclear and factually disconnected from the graph. You struggle to select the most significant features, such as the clear upward trend in healthcare or the steady decline in agriculture. To improve, focus on identifying the starting and ending points and the most notable changes over the period rather than listing general 'ups and downs'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as starting a sentence with 'Secondly' when the previous paragraph did not establish a clear first point. Referencing is also problematic; phrases like 'the chain of life' and 'the year of 15' are confusing and disrupt the flow of information. The transition between ideas is abrupt, and the lack of clear signposting makes it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison of the four sectors. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would significantly enhance coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'increased', 'decreased', and 'ups and downs' throughout the text. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'the field of manufacturing had be increased' and 'reached on the mid of o to 5 percentage'. These errors occasionally impede communication, making it difficult to understand the specific data points you are attempting to describe. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline', and ensure your phrasing is grammatically accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including issues with verb tenses ('had be increased'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or contain awkward phrasing, such as 'the sectors like manufacturing... are increased and also be decreased'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas and periods appearing in the middle of sentences. While the meaning is generally discernible, the high frequency of errors in basic structures prevents the response from achieving a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will help improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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