Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given line graph illustrates the information related to the number of jobs in four sectors of the US Economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, There are information about Number of jobs in Four major firms including Manufacturing, Retail, Healthcare and Agriculture in four years. The percentage of jobs in the sector of Retail and Agriculture continuously increase with the passage of time But in Other two sectors its not.
The number of jobs in the sector of Retail was below 10% in 1960 and than increased to 10% in 1980. In 2000, it reached to15% and then also increase a little bit till 2020.Same as Retail, the number of jobs in Healthcare was below 5% in 1960 but increased slightly with the time and reached to almost 15% at the end of the year 2020.
In contrast, the rate of number of jobs in the sector of Manufacturing , firstly increase to 20% in 1980 from 15% in 1960 , But Unfortunately, decrease after that to below 15% in 2020. And in Healthcare sector the number of jobs also reduce from almost 5% to below 55 in 1980 and then remain almost same till the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to summarize the graph but fails to accurately report the data. There are significant factual errors, such as misinterpreting the trends for Agriculture and Manufacturing. The overview is weak and contains inaccuracies, such as claiming Agriculture increased, when the graph shows it declined. Furthermore, the data points mentioned are often incorrect or confusing (e.g., mentioning '55' in the context of percentages). The response lacks a clear focus on the main features and trends, resulting in a failure to provide a coherent summary of the information presented in the graph. To improve, ensure you carefully read the axes and data points before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by inaccurate data reporting and confusing transitions. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'In contrast' and 'Overall', the connections between ideas are often illogical due to the factual errors in the content. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the paragraphing does not effectively separate the different sectors or trends. The flow of the essay is interrupted by the confusion regarding the data, making it difficult for the reader to follow the intended comparison of the four sectors over the specified time period.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'increase', 'decrease', and 'number of jobs'. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'major firms' to describe economic sectors and 'with the passage of time' which is slightly unnatural in this context. The misuse of numbers and the lack of precision in describing trends (e.g., 'increase a little bit') limit the ability to convey information effectively. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to trends and data analysis, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'declined steadily'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('There are information', 'its not'), article usage, and sentence structure. Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and spacing after commas. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are often faulty or contain errors that make the meaning unclear. The misuse of numbers (e.g., 'below 55') is a significant error that affects the accuracy of the report. A focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors would be beneficial.
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