Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given graph illustrate the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

overall,in the year of 1960 the sectors of retail and healthcare are beganing to rise and go on higher level

and the sector of manufacturing at1960 begins to rise first and then goes low after twenty years besides this the sector of agriculture decreased after passage of time.

if we talk about manufacturing sector, it was increasing between 1960 to1980 from 15 percent to 20 percent after that it begin to decrease rapidly till 2020 ,besides this agriculture sector was consistently decreasing from abow five percent to almost 2 percent during 1960 to 2020.

Now the graph shows that healthcare sector during this given passage of time increased all the time from 2 percent to almost 15 percent after this the Retail sector also increases from abow five percent to approximately 15 percent .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph and attempts to identify trends. However, the overview is weak and lacks a clear summary of the most significant features. The data reporting is somewhat inaccurate; for example, stating that the manufacturing sector increased from 15% to 20% between 1960 and 1980 is a misinterpretation of the visual data. Furthermore, the description of the trends is repetitive and lacks the analytical depth required for a higher band. To improve, you should focus on identifying the most striking differences, such as the clear divergence between the declining sectors (agriculture and manufacturing) and the growing ones (healthcare and retail).

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of effective cohesive devices. The transition between sentences is often mechanical, using simple connectors like 'besides this' or 'after this' repeatedly. The paragraphing is also somewhat arbitrary, as the second paragraph mixes general observations with specific data points. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus—for example, grouping the declining sectors together and the growing sectors together—and use a wider variety of linking words to show the relationship between your ideas more clearly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic verbs like 'increase', 'decrease', and 'rise'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'beganing' instead of 'beginning' and 'abow' instead of 'above'. The word choice is often imprecise, which occasionally makes the intended meaning difficult to follow. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to use a more varied range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuate', 'plummet', 'gradual growth', or 'sharp decline', and pay closer attention to accurate spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the given graph illustrate'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'are beganing to rise'), and missing articles. Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences are often marred by punctuation errors and awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and using correct tense forms for describing past data. Proofreading for basic punctuation and capitalization would also significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

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