Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The information about the number of jobs in four sector of economy in the USA is given. Between 1960 and 2020 comparison of jobs in million where different kinds of jobs are given.
Overall the jobs in four sectors of economy in the US increasing and decreasing. Manufacturing jobs is start from 15 million then it decreases in 2020 but in 1980 it increases to 20 million which shows higher job sector in economy of US.
where retail increases from 5 million to about 16 million in 2020. it goes higher in every year and shows good change. On other hand agriculture goes down fall from 6 million to about half of it. And in healthcare it goes up from 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020. healthcare shows major change in job economy.
In1980 only agriculture loses its economy in job sector. where healthcare sector have million of jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task by identifying the four sectors and describing general trends. However, the analysis is superficial and lacks precision. For example, the statement 'Manufacturing jobs is start from 15 million' is inaccurate based on the data, and the description of trends is often vague (e.g., 'shows good change'). The response fails to make meaningful comparisons between the sectors, such as noting that healthcare overtook manufacturing as the dominant sector. Key features are identified, but the lack of accurate data reporting and the absence of a clear, analytical overview limit the score. To improve, ensure data points are cited accurately and focus on highlighting the most significant shifts rather than listing trends for each sector individually.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is disjointed. While there is an attempt at an overview, the transition between sentences is often mechanical or abrupt, such as the sudden shift to 'where retail increases' without a proper linking phrase. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes misused, for instance, starting sentences with 'where' or 'and' inappropriately. Referencing is also unclear at times, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the argument. Improving the use of transition signals like 'In contrast,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Conversely' would significantly enhance the logical flow and coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on simple verbs like 'goes' and 'shows'. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'down fall' instead of 'decline' or 'downward trend', and 'loses its economy' which is semantically incorrect. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the data with precision. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more academic vocabulary related to trends and data analysis, such as 'fluctuate', 'surpass', 'gradual', or 'significant', and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Manufacturing jobs is start', 'healthcare sector have') and article usage. Sentence structures are predominantly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences are often marred by errors in punctuation and word order. For example, 'Between 1960 and 2020 comparison of jobs in million where different kinds of jobs are given' is a fragmented and confusing sentence. Focusing on basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would help improve the accuracy and readability of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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