Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given graph informed the economy rario of people jobs in four sectors of US during 1960 to 2020.

overall the different type of four line in line graph show the economy level of US four sectors and informed to when economy level increase and when economy decrease

in different years.

the economy level more increase in both of retail and healthcare lines the starting point of economic level is 0 to 5 and the end level is 15

on the other hand the manufacturing line starting point is 15 and increase to 20 then it decrease to 10 to 15 and the second line who decrease is agriculture line it starting point is 5 and then it decreace 0 to 3 in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you identify the four sectors and attempt to describe trends, the analysis is superficial and lacks the necessary detail to fully address the task. You mention starting and ending points, but the description of the trends is fragmented and lacks a clear, logical overview of the data. To improve, you must ensure you provide a comprehensive summary of the main features and include more specific data points to support your observations, ensuring the response is of sufficient length to fully develop your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. The paragraphing is non-existent, and the ideas are presented in a disjointed manner. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas together, making the flow of information difficult to follow. For example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, you should organize your response into clear paragraphs: an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and specific body paragraphs for the data. Using linking words like 'furthermore', 'in contrast', and 'subsequently' will help improve the logical progression of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on basic terms like 'increase', 'decrease', and 'lines', which prevents you from describing the data with precision. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'economy rario' and 'informed to', which hinder clarity. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline'. Expanding your range of synonyms and learning how to use them in the correct context is essential for improvement.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'the different type of four line... show', and incorrect sentence construction, such as 'the second line who decrease is agriculture line'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with a lack of proper capitalization and sentence boundaries. You rely almost exclusively on simple sentence structures. To improve, you should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and then work on incorporating complex structures, such as relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions, while ensuring your subject-verb agreement and verb tenses are accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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