Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors in the US economy over 60 years from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, two sectors show decent growth, whereas the other two fell steadily over the years. The four sectors in the US economy manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare fluctuated from 1960 to 2020.
Manufacturing had 15 million jobs in the initial year of 1960, and the number increased to 20 million in 1980. But the number plunged to 16 million in 2000, and to 13 million by 2020. However, the retail sector has shown rapid development and growth; as per the graph, the number of jobs was 5 million in 1960, which increased to 10,15 and 16 million throughout the subsequent years.
By contrast, the jobs in the agriculture sector decreased initially but then were almost constant from 3 million in 1960 and 2000 to 2 million by 2020. Although the healthcare sector increased gradually from 3 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980 and then almost to above 10 million in 2020 to 16 million by 2020, it shows steady growth and development in jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you state that two sectors 'fell steadily', but the data for manufacturing shows a rise before a fall, and the healthcare sector shows significant growth. The description of the retail sector is also confusing, as the numbers '10, 15 and 16' are listed without clear time markers. To improve, ensure your overview captures the most significant trends accurately and avoid listing raw data points without context. The summary of the agriculture sector is well-handled, but the overall analysis lacks a clear comparison between the sectors at the start and end points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'However', and 'whereas' are used to link ideas. However, the flow within the second body paragraph is somewhat mechanical, and the referencing in the retail section is unclear. The transition between the description of the manufacturing sector and the retail sector could be smoother. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the internal cohesion within the paragraphs needs to be more precise to ensure the reader can follow the data comparisons easily.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'plunged', 'gradually', and 'subsequent years'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing. For example, 'the number increased to 10, 15 and 16 million throughout the subsequent years' is awkward and lacks clarity. Additionally, 'fluctuated' is used to describe the overall trend, but the data shows more distinct directional trends (growth or decline) rather than simple fluctuation. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive sentence structures when describing numerical changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'the number increased to 10, 15 and 16 million' and the slightly confusing structure in the final sentence: 'almost to above 10 million in 2020 to 16 million by 2020'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do show a lack of control over complex structures. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the phrasing of data points needs more care to ensure grammatical accuracy. Increasing the variety of sentence types while maintaining accuracy will help improve this score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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