Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the given data about the number of jobs in four different zone of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data is calibrated in millions.
Overall, as the line graph represents, jobs in manufacturing had a steady rise in two decades. However, it shows a declined trend in next few years. Retail jobs had significantly risen up over the years. In addition, agriculture also followed the trend of retail.
As the graph shows, manufacturing jobs were accounted as highest job preferred in 1960 with 15 million jobs. Whereas, it had peaked in 1980 with 20 million jobs. As the decade pass it showed a downfall in the next few years and reaches nearly 13 million. In comparison, healthcare jobs were noted at 7 million in 1960 but, fall to 3 million in 1980 and remained steady in the next 40 years and makes it least jobs of the economy in 2020.
Analyzing further, retail and agriculture job both had seen, following the same upwards trend during every decade. Agriculture jobs were around 2 million on 1960 and rises to 5 million in 1980. Similarly, retail jobs were noted at 6 million in 1980 and over the decade it reaches to 10 million in 1980. In the end both the retail and agriculture were almost same in 2020 with the average of 15 million in both sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that healthcare jobs fell to 3 million in 1980 and remained steady, whereas the graph shows a different trend. Additionally, the claim that retail and agriculture jobs reached 15 million in 2020 is not supported by the visual data provided. While you attempt to identify trends, the misinterpretation of the figures prevents a clear and accurate summary. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the specific data points on the axes to avoid factual errors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'In addition', 'Whereas', and 'In comparison' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by confusing transitions and repetitive phrasing. For example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is a bit mechanical. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed at certain points. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words would enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'calibrated', 'downfall', and 'sectors'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'zone of the economy' instead of 'sector', 'declined trend' instead of 'downward trend', and 'highest job preferred'. Some of these errors, combined with the factual inaccuracies, make the description less precise. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and ensuring that your vocabulary accurately reflects the trends shown in the graph.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('retail and agriculture job both had seen'), incorrect tense usage ('As the decade pass'), and awkward phrasing ('makes it least jobs of the economy'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. Focusing on consistent tense usage and subject-verb agreement will significantly improve the clarity and quality of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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