Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrated the information the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in US between the late of 20th century to early of the 21th century.

Overall, there were two sectors who increased sharply named Retail sector and Healthcare sector and on the other hand, the Manufacturing sector and Agriculture sector were sharply declined .

In 1960 in USA, there were about 15 millions jobs in the manufacturing sector and the number is decreased gradully to about 13 millions jobs in 2020. In retail sector , there were about 7 millions jobs in 1960 and the number of jobs is sharply increased to about 16 millions in 2020.

In 1960 in USA, there were about 7 millions jobs for Agriculture sector and the number is decreased to a

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the response is incomplete, ending abruptly in the middle of a sentence. While you have identified the main trends (the rise of retail/healthcare and the decline of manufacturing/agriculture), the lack of completion means you have not fully reported on all the data provided in the graph. To improve, ensure you complete your analysis of all four sectors and provide a clear, concise overview that synthesises the main features rather than just listing them. You must also ensure the response reaches the minimum length to avoid a penalty.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into short paragraphs, but the abrupt ending disrupts the overall flow and logical progression of the response. Cohesive devices are used in a very basic and repetitive manner, such as 'In 1960 in USA' and 'the number is'. There is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'conversely', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') and ensure that your paragraphing is balanced and that the essay reaches a logical conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'jobs', 'number', and 'increased'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'late of 20th century' instead of 'the late 20th century' and 'sharply declined' used incorrectly with 'were'. To improve, try to use more precise vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant growth'. Avoid repeating the same sentence structures and vocabulary throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with articles ('in US' instead of 'in the US'), verb tense consistency ('the number is decreased' instead of 'the number decreased'), and sentence structure. The use of 'two sectors who increased' is incorrect as 'who' should be used for people, not sectors. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and incorporating a mix of complex sentence structures to demonstrate greater control over English grammar.

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