Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Number of jobs in U.S has substantially increased over the time. We can evidently see a rise in jobs in various sectors of the economy between [redacted phone].
It’s clearly demonstrated in the chart that healthcare is the strongest growing sector of all. Healthcare sector showed a significant rise where it went from less than 5 million jobs to over 15 million jobs in 2020. It’s followed by the retail industry which also saw an increase in jobs over the period of time from slightly over 5 million jobs to 15 million jobs same as the healthcare industry.
The sectors of economy which went downhill in the total number of jobs are manufacturing and agriculture. Agriculture sector saw a steep decline in jobs where this sector had over 5 million jobs to now less than half of what it once had in 1960. Also manufacturing was the best performing sector of the economy in 1960 with 15 million jobs highest at that time. it saw a small decline with time but not as major as agriculture sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have successfully identified the main trends for all four sectors. You provided a clear overview and supported your points with data from the graph. However, the response could be improved by including a more distinct 'overview' paragraph that synthesizes the overall trends rather than jumping straight into details. Additionally, while you mentioned the sectors, you could have made more direct comparisons between the categories to better highlight the relative changes. For instance, noting that healthcare overtook manufacturing as the leading sector would have strengthened the analysis. Overall, you have addressed the prompt effectively by reporting the key features and trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific trend (growth vs. decline). You use some cohesive devices, such as 'It’s followed by' and 'Also', to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider range of linking words and transition phrases to connect sentences more fluidly. For example, instead of starting sentences with 'Also', you could use 'In contrast' or 'Conversely' when shifting from the growing sectors to those that declined. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning clearly, using terms like 'substantially increased', 'significant rise', and 'steep decline'. However, there is some repetition of basic structures and a few minor inaccuracies in collocation. For example, 'went downhill' is a bit informal for an academic report; 'experienced a downward trend' would be more appropriate. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plateaued', or 'surpassed', to demonstrate a more sophisticated control of language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For instance, you missed articles in phrases like 'Number of jobs in U.S' (should be 'The number of jobs in the U.S.') and 'Agriculture sector' (should be 'The agriculture sector'). Additionally, there are some punctuation and capitalization errors, such as 'it saw a small decline' starting with a lowercase letter. Focusing on article usage and sentence-level proofreading will help you achieve a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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