Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be seen that the retail and healthcare industries went up the numbers of jobs over the period, while the agriculture industry start from the peak point and then constant over the period. The manufacturing industry gives good jobs in first two period and then falls the last period.
Firstly, information about the agriculture, the manufacturing industry gives the 15 million in 1960 and approximately increased 5% and reach at the 20 million in 1980. Likewise, the manufacturing industry jobs progressively fall just 13 million in 2000 and 9 million in 2020.
Secondly, the retail and agriculture industries climb over the period. Furthermore, the healthcare industry in 1960 provides around about 6 million and remains same millions between the 1980 and 2000 only 4 million. In the last 20 years the healthcare industry just sent 3 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarize the main features of the graph, but the information provided is often inaccurate or contradictory. For example, you state that the agriculture industry started at a 'peak point' and remained constant, which is not supported by the data. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, and the figures cited for healthcare do not align with the visual data provided. While you identify some trends, the lack of precision in reporting the data and the misinterpretation of the sectors significantly hinder the task achievement. To improve, focus on accurately reading the axes and ensuring that the data points mentioned in your text match the graph exactly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression is often disrupted by confusing transitions and unclear referencing. For instance, the use of 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' is mechanical and does not effectively link the ideas. Additionally, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, such as the phrase 'Furthermore, the retail and agriculture industries climb,' which does not logically follow the previous sentence. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would enhance the overall flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is quite limited and repetitive. You rely on basic verbs like 'gives,' 'went up,' and 'remains,' which lack the precision required for an Academic Task 1 report. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'sent 3 million jobs' and 'remains same millions.' To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'declined steadily,' or 'reached a plateau.' Additionally, ensure that you use nouns and verbs correctly in context to avoid awkward phrasing that obscures the meaning of your report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'agriculture industry start'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence structures (e.g., 'the manufacturing industry gives the 15 million'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with some errors in tense and article usage. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing articles or incorrect verb forms. Increasing the use of complex sentences, such as using 'while' or 'whereas' to contrast trends, would also help improve your grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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