Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE LINE CHART DEPICTS INFORMATION ABOUT THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN FOUR SECTORS OF THE ECONOMY IN THE US BETWEEN 1960 AND 2020.
BY HAVING CURSORY GLANCE, IT IS VIVID THAT, IN 1960, 15MILLIONS MANUFACTURING JOBS WERE IN THE US, THEN START INCRESSING THE NUMBER OF JOBS 5MILLION INCLINE IN THE YEAR OF 1980, AFTER THAT START SHARPLY DICLINE NUMBER OF JOBS IN THE END OF THE YEAR JOB NUMBERS WERE AROUND 13MIILIONS. MOREOVER, IN RETAIL SECTOR NUMBER OF JOBS STARTED FROM 6MILLIONS, THEN SIGNIFICANTLY GROW NUMBER OF JOBS AND IN 2000, REACH AT 15 MILLION AFTER THAT INCREACE SLOWLY FOR 20 YEARS INCREACE 1 MILLION JOBS IN RETAIL.
MOVING FUTHER, IT IS LUCID THAT, IN AGRICULTURE SECTORE NUMBER OF JOBS START FROM 6 MILLLIONS AND DICLINE OVER THE TIME PERIODS AFTER 60 YEARS DROPED AT 1 MIILIONS. FUTHERMORE, HEALTHCARE DIPARTMENT JOBS 2 MILLION IN 1960, THROUGH OUT THE TIME THAT WAS CLIMP STEADILY FOR FIRST 20 YEARS THEN GROW SUBSTANTIALY AND IN THE END REACH AT 16 MILLION JOBS IN 2020.
BY GIVING GENERAL OVERVIEW, IT IS CRYSTAL CELAR THAT RETAILS AND HEALTHCARE JOBS RISE OVER THE TIME BHUT MANUFACTURING SECTORE ICLINE FOR FIRST 20 YEARS THEN DECREASE WHEARAS AGRICULTUR SHOWS DOWN WORDS TREAND.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For example, stating '15millions manufacturing jobs' in 1960 is not supported by the graph, and the description of the retail sector's growth is imprecise. While the overview captures the general direction of the trends, the lack of precision in data points and the inclusion of inaccurate figures prevent a higher score. The response would benefit from more careful observation of the graph's axes and data points to ensure accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or awkward, such as 'By having cursory glance' and 'Moving futher'. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by these unnatural transitions. While there is a clear attempt to group information by sector, the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disrupted by the repetitive structure of the descriptions. Improved use of linking phrases and better sentence variety would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors such as 'incressing', 'dicline', 'sectore', 'climp', and 'substanyaly'. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but the errors are noticeable and sometimes distracting. There is little evidence of less common lexical items or precise collocations. To improve, the student should focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic terms and using more varied verbs to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'plummeted'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('start increasing', 'reach at'), missing articles, and subject-verb agreement errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar structures limits the score. The student should work on sentence construction, specifically focusing on tense consistency when describing past trends and the correct use of prepositions.
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