Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The rendered line graph depicts the information about the figure of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US during given time period.
Overall, rural and agriculture jobs show upward trend of the economy in US,while manufacturing and healthcare jobs show downward trend.
In detail, 15 millions manufacturing jobs in 1960. After 30 years, it inclined and reached at 20 million.In 2000, 17 million manufacturing jobs in US. After 2 decade, it declined and touched it 13 million. However, 5million rural jobs in US in 1960. In 1990, it graduall increased and reached at 10 million. After 30 years,it reached at 15 million.
In case of agriculture jobs, 5 million jobs in 1960 . After 3 decade, it significantly declined and touched it 3 million. In 2000 to 2020,it decreased and reached at 2 million. Furthermore,healthcare jobs started to 2 million and then increased and reached at 5 million. In 2000, 11 million healthcare jobs in US. After 2 decade, healthcare jobs inclined and touched it 15 million.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a summary of the main features, but the accuracy of the data reporting is problematic. For instance, the text claims manufacturing jobs showed a downward trend, whereas the graph indicates fluctuations. Furthermore, the description of the trends is often contradictory or confusing, such as stating 'rural and agriculture jobs show upward trend' when the graph shows agriculture declining. The overview is too brief and fails to accurately capture the significant shifts in the data. To improve, ensure that the data points cited align precisely with the visual information provided and that the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends rather than listing individual data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of effective cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often mechanical or missing, making the flow feel disjointed. For example, the use of 'In detail' and 'In case of' is somewhat unnatural in this context. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks cohesion, as the sentences simply list data points without connecting them to show comparisons or relationships between the sectors. Increasing the use of linking words like 'conversely', 'meanwhile', or 'in contrast' would improve the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on basic verbs like 'reached', 'increased', and 'declined'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'figure of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs' and 'After 2 decade' (should be 'decades'). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more varied reporting verbs and nouns related to economic trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement, pluralisation, and article usage. Examples include '15 millions manufacturing jobs' (should be '15 million'), 'it graduall increased' (spelling error), and 'touched it 13 million' (incorrect pronoun usage). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and punctuation impacts the overall quality of the writing. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would be a beneficial next step.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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