Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates data about the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, in the US economy manufacturing declined significantly over the period. More ever in agriculture sectors fell in particular time then maintain the same level. Where as retail sector and healthcare sector had climbed the number of jobs.
In detail, manufacturing sector recorded as 15 millions job in 1960. While it suddenly jumped to 20millions jobs in 1980. Then the job sectors fluctuated to below 20 millions in 2000 .In 2020 it reduced to below 15millions jobs. In retail sector the margin was just above 5 millions in 1960 and it continue rose the number of jobs in 1980 and 2000 with 10 millions and 15millions job respectively. While it slightly went up to above 15 millions jobs in 2020. In agriculture sector had above 5 millions jobs in 1960, where as it dropped steadily to below 5 millions in 1980 and level of for the next twenty years with same data, then jobs sectors was moderately down in 2020. In healthcare sectors figured as 2 millions jobs in 1960 but after time it escalate to 5 millions jobs in 1980, How ever jobs were surged to above 10 millions in 1980 . Then it was rocket to above 15millions jobs in this sector of 2020 .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, the overview is somewhat weak and contains inaccuracies; for instance, stating that the retail and healthcare sectors 'had climbed' is vague, and the description of the agriculture sector is confusing. While the main features are highlighted, the data reporting is inconsistent, and some figures are misstated or lack clarity. To improve, ensure the overview clearly contrasts the overall trends (e.g., growth vs. decline) and verify that the data points cited accurately reflect the graph provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. Phrases like 'More ever' and 'In detail' are used incorrectly or in a way that does not effectively guide the reader. The use of cohesive devices is often repetitive or inaccurate, such as the misuse of 'where as' and 'while' throughout the body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is hindered by these structural issues, making the text feel disjointed. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the readability of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, relying on basic verbs like 'climbed', 'went up', and 'reduced'. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'figured as', 'level of for the next twenty years', and 'it was rocket to'. These errors occasionally impede the flow of information. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable', and ensure that nouns and verbs are used in grammatically correct collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('agriculture sectors fell', 'jobs sectors was'), incorrect tense usage, and missing articles. Sentence structures are often simple or incorrectly formed, such as 'In 2020 it reduced to below 15millions jobs'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces missing before or after periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the text from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence structure and proofreading for basic agreement errors is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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