Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph shows the data about number of jobs in US's four economical sectors between 1960 and 2020. It is quite evident that the highest numbers for were noted in Manufacturing 1990, and the lowest numbers of economical sector was marked in Healthcare in 1960.
In years 1960 to 2020 the graph of Healthcare was increased gradually started from approximately 3 million, which was the lowest job number and boosted up to 16 million. Furthermore, In 1960 Retail and Agriculture had equal amount of jobs, that was about 6 million. However, in Agriculture sector the line declined up to 2 million in 2020. Additionally in sector like Retail the graph went upwards up to 16 million in 2020. The manufacturing sector was the highest from remained three sectors, firstly, it started from 15 million in 1960, after one year graph went up to 20 million, secondly, it declined till 2020 up to 13 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides a general overview, though the reporting of data is inconsistent. You successfully identify the start and end points for most categories, but the overview lacks a clear synthesis of the main trends. For instance, you mention the manufacturing sector peaked, but the description of its trajectory is confusingly phrased. To improve, ensure you group information logically—perhaps by comparing the growth sectors (Healthcare and Retail) against the declining ones (Agriculture and Manufacturing). Ensure all data points are accurate and clearly linked to the years provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into two paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward transitions and sentence structure. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'However', they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. The progression of ideas within the second paragraph is disjointed, particularly when discussing the manufacturing sector. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly and ensure each paragraph has a clear thematic focus, such as separating the growing sectors from the declining ones to help the reader follow your analysis more easily.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'boosted', and 'declined'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'economical sectors' instead of 'economic sectors' and 'remained three sectors' instead of 'remaining three sectors'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'experienced a downward trend'. Additionally, focus on using correct terminology for economic data to avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('in Agriculture sector'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing ('the graph of Healthcare was increased'). Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency also need attention, such as 'the highest numbers for were noted'. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic errors in articles and prepositions. Aim to vary your sentence structure by using more complex clauses, but ensure they are grammatically sound to avoid confusion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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