Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The renderd linear representation illustrates the information about the amount of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
In an overview, it is crystal clear that retail and healthcare ranked highest position rather than other sectors in latter year. However, agriculture had the lowest position during the given period.
To begin with, manufacturing ranked first in the year 1960, which was accounted as 15, whereas slightly rose upto 20 million jobs in 1980. There was a dramatically downfall in this sectors regarding jobs registrated by approximately 13 millions. In the case of retail, 6 million jobs had in initial year, while there was a rocket increased in this amount , which was observed as nearby 14 million in the latter year.
Moving towards, there was a difference of 13 million between 1960 and 2020 in agriculture sector, which was accounted as 3 millions and 16 millions. Lastly, healthcare sector was ranged between 6 millions and 16 millions during time period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the description of the agriculture sector is confusing, stating a difference of 13 million while citing figures of 3 and 16 million, which does not align clearly with the visual data. Additionally, the overview is somewhat vague. To improve, ensure that the data points selected are accurate and that the comparison between sectors is more precise. The response addresses the task requirements but lacks the analytical depth required for a higher band score due to the imprecise reporting of figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. There is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moving towards', and 'Lastly'. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Moving towards' used as a standalone transition. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing. Improving the variety and natural flow of linking words would enhance the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'renderd linear representation', 'registrated', and 'rocket increased'. These errors occasionally impede the flow of the text. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'sectors' and 'economy', the lack of control over collocations and word forms limits the score. To improve, focus on using more natural collocations and ensuring that word forms (e.g., nouns vs. verbs) are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'which was accounted as 15' (missing units), 'there was a dramatically downfall', and 'healthcare sector was ranged'. These errors, while not completely obscuring meaning, are persistent and affect the readability of the text. The student should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and the accurate formation of passive voice structures to improve accuracy and range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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