Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line graph shows US economy 4 diffrent jobs fillds maket from 1960 to 2020 .
overall,Retail and healthcare both job had constant rise, while manufacturing and Agriculture jobs has expirence fall .
in the year of 1960 manufacturing fild have nearly 15 miilions of jobs which was the highest creating job sector, by 1980 experience extrem rise and reached 20 miilons jobs , this number of jobs have uniform fall and reached 12.5 miilons of jobs approximately in 2020, under 5 miilons jobs have in agriculture in 1960 it has slight fall and reached nearly 2.5 miilons of jobs this sector have nominal decrise and recoded the lowest job sector at under 2 miilons of jobs ,
Retail and healthcare s
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. Furthermore, the task is incomplete; the description of the retail and healthcare sectors is cut off mid-sentence, and the overview is underdeveloped. While you identified some main features, such as the rise in retail/healthcare and the decline in manufacturing/agriculture, the lack of completion means you have not fully addressed all parts of the task. To improve, ensure you provide a complete summary of all data points and write a full, cohesive report that meets the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The response lacks a clear paragraph structure. The text is presented as a single, fragmented block, which makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences, and the abrupt ending makes the overall arrangement incoherent. To improve, you should organize your report into clear paragraphs: an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and specific details for each sector. Use linking words like 'in contrast', 'furthermore', and 'subsequently' to help the reader navigate your analysis.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors such as 'diffrent', 'fillds', 'maket', 'miilons', and 'decrise'. These errors occasionally make it difficult to understand the intended meaning. You rely on basic descriptors like 'rise' and 'fall' without using more precise academic vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable'. To improve, focus on learning the correct spelling of common words and expanding your range of verbs and adverbs to describe statistical changes more accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing and Agriculture jobs has expirence fall') and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, which hinders clarity. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple, error-prone sentences. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that you use correct verb tenses when describing past data. Proofreading for basic punctuation and capitalization is also essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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