Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line chart demonstrates the number of jobs in four sectors of economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector takes leads according to chart having highest number of jobs and it reaches its peak in 1980, but after this, it gradually declines. In contrast, the agriculture sector is at the bottom of the chart having the lowest number of jobs from 1980 till 2020, yet retail and healthcare sector rise considerably.

In 1960, manufacturing sector had 15million jobs remained at the top. Retail and agriculture sector had same number of jobs about 6million, and healthcare had about 2million of jobs. Manufacturing sector slightly rose to 20million in 1980. Retail sector also had a little increase about 10million following agriculture which had sudden decrease to 3million of jobs in 1980. Healthcare sector saw sudden rise in jobs about 5million in 1980.

A sudden decrease had seen in manufacturing sector which dip from 20million to 14million, but retail market continuou to rise and hit 15% job rate in 2000. Agriculture remain same in 2000 about 3million. Yet a substantial growth can be seen in health care from 5million to 11million in 2000. As following, manufacturing and agriculture continuously decrease but retail and healthcare continuously rise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You have successfully identified the overall trends, such as the decline of manufacturing and the growth of healthcare and retail. However, the report lacks precision in data reporting. For instance, you mention '15% job rate' in 2000, which is incorrect as the graph tracks the number of jobs in millions, not percentages. Additionally, some data points are vague or slightly inaccurate compared to the visual information provided. To improve, ensure that you carefully distinguish between the units of measurement and provide more accurate data points to support your descriptions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on different time periods. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'and' or 'but'. Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. To reach a higher band, try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly, and ensure that your paragraphing is used to group related information more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main trends, using terms like 'gradually declines', 'peak', and 'substantial growth'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'manufacturing sector takes leads' and 'retail market continuou to rise'. There are also some spelling errors, such as 'continuou'. The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Focusing on collocations and ensuring correct word forms will help improve your score in this area.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing sector'), subject-verb agreement ('manufacturing sector had 15million jobs remained'), and preposition usage. There are also issues with tense consistency and missing auxiliary verbs, such as 'A sudden decrease had seen' instead of 'A sudden decrease was seen'. These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy will be beneficial.

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