Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph presentation elucidates information about number of tasks in various quarters of economy in the united state between 1960 to 2020. At a first glance it can be promptly noticed that there was both increments and decrements in the amount of works in four sectors of economy.
From the given statistics, it is apparent that the numeral of jobs in manufacturing sector of the economy initialised at 15% in 1960. This figure saw its peak at 20% in 1980 and fall rapidly since 2020.while, the percentage of jobs in agriculture field sector of economy climb gradually from 5% to 16% between 1960 to 2020. The percentile of work in agriculture field escalated quickly from 2% to 16% between 40 years.
In addition to above, finally, the proportion of jobs in retail fields declined slowly from 6% to 2% between 1960 to 2020 in united States.
In the major conclusion that is drawn by using the line tracks is the highest healthcare and the lowest is agriculture sectors in the number of jobs or works of the economy in united states.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the main features of the graph, but it fails to accurately report the data. There are significant inaccuracies in the interpretation of the figures (e.g., stating manufacturing peaked at 20% when the graph shows higher levels, and confusing the sectors). The overview is weak and does not clearly highlight the main trends or significant differences between the four sectors. Furthermore, the data provided in the text often contradicts the visual information, which is a critical issue in Task 1. To improve, you must ensure that the data points cited are precise and that the overall trends are correctly identified and compared.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as 'In addition to above, finally,' which feels unnatural. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, particularly in the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs. While there is an attempt to use linking words, they are not always used effectively to create a smooth flow of information. Improving the variety and accuracy of your transition signals will help to create a more logical and cohesive response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate. You frequently use incorrect terminology, such as 'numeral of jobs' instead of 'number of jobs,' 'quarters of economy' instead of 'sectors of the economy,' and 'initialised' instead of 'started.' There is also a lack of precision in describing trends; for example, 'increments and decrements' is overly formal and slightly unnatural in this context. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using sector-specific vocabulary correctly and avoid repeating simple words. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage ('the united state'), subject-verb agreement ('percentage of jobs... climb'), and tense consistency ('initialised at 15% in 1960'). The sentence structures are relatively simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'The percentile of work in agriculture field escalated quickly from 2% to 16% between 40 years.' You need to focus on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with prepositions, pluralisation, and verb tenses, before attempting more complex sentence structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.