Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information regarding the numbers of jobs in four different sectors in US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the three sectors including retail and healthcare showed an up ward trend over the time , the agriculture and manufacturing sector depicted the down fall .
First of all , in 1960 retail sector created a 5.5 jobs in US and healthcare department have had 3 millions jobs by the time they both sectors followed by increasing trend and surprisingly touch the same amount in 2020 which around 16 millions.
On the other hand , manufacturing sectors was the top in the 1960 about 15 millions and then it grow up by 5 millions job in 1980 . After that it was declined by 7 millions job in 2020. Agriculture started as same as retail in 1960 it was 6 million , but this showed a steady down fall at the end by 2millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the upward trends in retail and healthcare and the downward trends in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the data reporting is often inaccurate or confusing. For instance, stating the retail sector created '5.5 jobs' is a significant error in scale (the graph indicates millions). Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector's growth and decline is mathematically inconsistent with the visual data provided. While the overview is present, the lack of precision in reporting figures and the misinterpretation of the data points prevent this from reaching a higher band. To improve, ensure that data points are read accurately and that units (millions) are consistently applied.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or awkward, such as 'First of all' and 'On the other hand', which do not always fit the context of describing trends. The flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph where the transition between the retail and healthcare sectors is abrupt. While the paragraphing is clear, the internal cohesion needs more variety and better control to ensure a smoother progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'up ward trend', 'down fall', and 'healthcare department'. The student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary, but the misuse of units (e.g., '5.5 jobs' instead of '5.5 million jobs') significantly impacts the clarity of the report. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations for describing trends, such as 'experienced a steady decline' rather than 'showed a steady down fall', and ensure units are always clearly stated.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('have had', 'was declined'), missing articles ('in US', 'in retail sector'), and punctuation errors, such as unnecessary spaces before commas. Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly article usage and verb tense consistency, would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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