Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Introduction:

The line paragraph indicates the various jobs in four sectors of the economy in us from 1960 to 2020.

Overview:

The various jobs in four sectors of the economy in us line paragraph shows that the health care sector grows rapidly from 1960 to 2020.

Agricaltural sector steadly decrease from 1960 till 2020.Retail sector also increase rapidly from 1960 till 2020 . Manufacturing sector reached its maximum peak in 1980 and then it steadly start fluctuating.

Body paragraph 1:

The line paragraph shows that the Health care sector reached at its maximum peak in 2020 .it steadly start increasing from 1960 and then reached its maximum peak in 2020.

Health care sector /begining (1960)/ At peak(2020)

Health care sector/. 0. /. 15

Agricul

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. The content is incomplete, as the student stops mid-sentence and fails to provide a full analysis of the data. While the introduction and overview attempt to identify main trends, the body paragraphs are fragmented and lack the necessary detail to fully address the prompt. The inclusion of raw data points in a list format rather than a cohesive paragraph structure further limits the development of the response. To improve, ensure all data is presented in full sentences and that the response is sufficiently developed to meet the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks a logical structure. The use of headings like 'Introduction' and 'Body paragraph 1' is inappropriate for an IELTS task and disrupts the flow of the writing. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas, and the information is presented in a disjointed manner, particularly the list-like data at the end. Paragraphing is not used effectively, and the overall progression of ideas is unclear. To improve, remove headings, use transition words such as 'furthermore' or 'in contrast', and ensure that each paragraph follows a logical sequence of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic terms like 'grows', 'increase', and 'decrease' throughout the text. There are also spelling errors such as 'Agricaltural' and 'steadly'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to demonstrate the precision required for Academic Task 1. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of verbs and adverbs to describe trends, such as 'soared', 'plummeted', or 'fluctuated', and ensure accurate spelling of key terms related to the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'sector grows' and 'sector... start fluctuating'. Punctuation is inconsistent, and sentence structure is often simplistic or incomplete. The use of 'line paragraph' is an incorrect collocation for a graph. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring consistent tense usage (past tense for historical data), and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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