Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the four different job sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
In 1960, the jobs in manufacturing is 15 and retail and agriculture shares the same amount, which is 5. The manufacturing sector hit its all time high in 1980 at 20.
It can be vividly seen that the jobs in agriculture sector was gradually showing downward trend and the number of jobs in healthcare sector surged from 3 to 16 between 1960 and 2020.
Furthermore, the amount of manufacturing and retail were 12 and 16 respectively, in 2020. the most noticeable thing is retail and healthcare share the same number of jobs in the end. However, they were rising significantly from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that people were showing more interest in retail and healthcare sectors till the end of 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you identify some key features, the analysis is incomplete. You mention manufacturing and agriculture but fail to provide a comprehensive overview of all four sectors across the entire 60-year period. The data points provided are sometimes vague or lack the necessary units (e.g., '15' instead of '15 million'). To improve, ensure you cover all categories, provide accurate data points for the start, end, and key turning points, and write a more detailed overview that synthesizes the main trends rather than just listing isolated figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into short paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'Overall', the transitions between sentences feel mechanical and sometimes disjointed. For example, the jump between discussing manufacturing in 1980 and the downward trend in agriculture lacks a clear connection. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some very short paragraphs that do not allow for a full development of ideas. To improve, focus on grouping related information together and using a wider variety of linking words to create a smoother flow between your observations.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. You rely on basic descriptors like 'hit its all time high' and 'showing downward trend'. There is also a lack of variety in reporting verbs and nouns related to data trends. Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'the amount of manufacturing and retail were 12 and 16'. To improve, incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a sharp decline', and ensure you use precise terminology when referring to economic sectors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are several grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, such as 'the jobs in manufacturing is 15' (should be 'are') and 'the amount of manufacturing and retail were' (should be 'the number of jobs in... was'). You also have issues with capitalization, such as starting a sentence with 'the most noticeable thing' after a period. The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. To improve, work on subject-verb agreement, ensure consistent capitalization, and practice using a wider range of complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to combine ideas.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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