Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The chart shows data on employment across various financial sectors in the US starting from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be seen that some sectors experienced rapid growth while other experienced a decline.
The highest employment sector was manufacturing which provided around 15 million employment opportunities and rose to about 20 million reaching it's peak before falling to about 13 million in 40 years time. Meanwhile, retail saw a steady growth in career opportunities starting from 6 million and soaring to about 16 million in half a century's time.
The one most affected was healthcare which rocketed to 16 million in 2020 when they only had around 3 million opportunities in 1960s. Another sector that experienced a drop in opportunities was agriculture, there were around 6 million positions in the 60s which continued to decline all throughout time and has started to plateau at around 3 million. While healthcare and retail sectors saw a surge in occupations manufacturing and agriculture aw a downwards trend with time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of manufacturing is slightly inaccurate regarding the timeline, and the data points could be more precisely integrated to highlight the 'main features' more effectively. While the overview is present, it lacks a clear synthesis of the comparative trends. To reach a higher band, ensure that the data selected is accurate and that the comparison between sectors is more analytical rather than just listing figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Meanwhile', 'The one most affected', and 'While' are used to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the growing sectors and declining sectors more distinctly. The referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the description of individual sectors and the final summary sentence feels slightly abrupt. Overall, the information is arranged coherently, but the progression could be smoother.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some good attempts at descriptive language like 'soaring', 'rocketed', and 'plateau'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and repetitive phrasing. For example, 'employment opportunities' and 'positions' are used, but the word 'opportunities' is repeated frequently. There are also minor errors such as 'aw a downwards trend' (likely a typo for 'saw') and 'in 40 years time' (missing an apostrophe). To improve, try to vary the vocabulary further and ensure precise word choice when describing trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'reaching it's peak' (should be 'its'), 'other experienced' (should be 'others'), and 'in 1960s' (should be 'in the 1960s'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. The punctuation is generally acceptable, but the misuse of the possessive 'it's' is a recurring issue. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining higher accuracy would help elevate the score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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