Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The given graph depicts the jobs in four sectors of economy in US during the period of 1960 and 2020.lets analyse this graph from different angles in following paragraphs. Healthcare units made progress from 3 million to 16 millions from 1960 to 2020.It provide job opportunities to people and contribute to economy of country .On the other hand agricultural department declined from 6 millions to 2 millions from different time period from 1960 to 2020 because it people did not showed interest towards it .In retail sector,job opportunities start from 6 percent and reached to top about 15 percent then decline occured in this sector in 2020.Contrary to these units , manufacturing sectors provide opportunities of earnings and its increased it ratio from 15 to 20 million then decline occured due to loss of people interest or having no job vacancies in 2020. In conclusion manufacturing and agricultural units are not offering jobs as compared to retail and healthcare sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the four sectors mentioned in the graph, but the analysis is superficial and lacks a clear overview. The student attempts to describe trends but relies on speculation (e.g., 'people did not showed interest') rather than reporting the data objectively. The data points provided are sometimes inaccurate or confusing, such as mixing percentages and millions for the retail sector. To improve, focus on identifying the most significant trends, such as the steady growth in healthcare versus the decline in agriculture, and ensure all data points are clearly linked to the correct units provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the structure is disjointed. The introduction is informal ('lets analyse this graph'), and the transition between paragraphs is weak. While some cohesive devices like 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion' are used, the logical flow is hampered by repetitive sentence structures and a lack of clear progression. The paragraphing is also inconsistent, with the body paragraphs containing a mix of data that could be better grouped by trends (e.g., sectors that grew vs. those that declined). Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus would enhance coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic verbs like 'made progress', 'provide', and 'increased'. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'agricultural department' (instead of sector) and 'it ratio' (instead of its ratio). The student struggles with collocations, and the lack of variety in descriptive language makes the report feel monotonous. To reach a higher band, the student should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('it people did not showed'), article usage ('in US'), and tense consistency. The sentence structures are predominantly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect capitalization. To improve, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that verbs are correctly conjugated and that articles are used appropriately. Increasing the variety of sentence structures while maintaining accuracy is essential for a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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