Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the proportion of employement in diffrent sectors[Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare] in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it can be clearly seen that the figure of Manufacturing sector was show the highest over the period, whereas Retail and Healthcare sectors rose dramaticlly. The Agriculture sector was provide less number of job as compare to other sector.
In 1960, Manufacturing sector accounted for provide the uage number of placement at 15 million, while Healthcare showed only 3 million of job. Retail and Agriculture sector gave similar number of employement at 6 million.
In 1980, the proportio of Manufacturing rose dramaticlly at 20 million, which was the highst figure as comapare to other. Retail and Healthcare both rose at 10 and 5 million, while Agriculture showd
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. Furthermore, the essay is incomplete, ending abruptly in the second body paragraph. While you have identified some main features, such as the growth in the Retail and Healthcare sectors, the analysis is underdeveloped due to the premature ending. To improve, ensure you complete the summary by covering the entire period up to 2020 and provide a more comprehensive overview of the trends. The failure to finish the report prevents a full comparison of the data, which is a core requirement of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay uses basic paragraphing, but the logical flow is interrupted by the incomplete nature of the text. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall' and 'In 1960', but they are somewhat mechanical. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the lack of a concluding summary or a completed second body paragraph makes the overall progression difficult to follow. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and a logical conclusion before moving to the next point.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several spelling errors such as 'employement', 'diffrent', 'dramaticlly', and 'proportio'. You rely on basic verbs like 'show' and 'give' rather than more precise academic vocabulary suitable for describing data trends. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'uage number of placement', which is not standard English. To reach a higher band, you should expand your range of vocabulary to include terms like 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant increase', and pay closer attention to the correct spelling of common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'the figure of Manufacturing sector was show the highest', 'Agriculture sector was provide less number of job', and 'as comapare to other'. There is a lack of control over basic sentence structures, and the use of articles (the/a) is inconsistent. The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice for describing data. Practicing complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses, will also help improve your grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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