Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the proportion of employement in diffrent sectors [Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare] in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that the figure of Manufacturing sector was show the highest over the period, whereas Retail and Healthcare sectors rose dramaticlly. The Agriculture sector was provide less number of job as compare to other sector.

In 1960, Manufacturing sector accounted for provide the uage number of placement at 15 million, while Healthcare showed only 3 million of job. Retail and Agriculture sector gave similar number of employement at 6 million.

In 1980, the proportio of Manufacturing rose dramaticlly at 20 million, which was the highst figure as comapare to other. Retail and Healthcare both rose at 10 and 5 million, while Agriculture sector fall slightly at 4 million. The Healthcare sector took over the Agriculture sectore during whole time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is incomplete as it stops at 1980, failing to cover the full period up to 2020. The overview is present but lacks sufficient detail. To improve, ensure you cover the entire timeframe provided in the graph and provide a more comprehensive summary of the data points. The under-length nature of the response limits the development of the task, resulting in a lower band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is hindered by the incomplete nature of the data analysis. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In 1960' and 'In 1980', but the transitions between sentences are sometimes mechanical. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the lack of a concluding summary or a full description of the trends up to 2020 makes the overall structure feel unfinished. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring all data is presented logically will help raise this score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

There is a limited range of vocabulary, and there are frequent spelling errors such as 'employement', 'diffrent', 'dramaticlly', 'highst', and 'sectore'. These errors are noticeable and occasionally distract the reader. You rely on basic descriptors like 'rose' and 'gave'. To achieve a higher band, you should aim for more precise vocabulary related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'surpassed', or 'remained stable', and pay closer attention to spelling accuracy to ensure your writing is professional and clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity. Examples include 'the figure of Manufacturing sector was show the highest', 'Agriculture sector was provide less number of job', and 'proportio of Manufacturing rose dramaticlly at 20 million'. There is a lack of control over verb tenses and sentence structure. While you attempt to use complex sentences, they are often faulty. Focusing on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and correct preposition usage will significantly improve your accuracy. You should also proofread to catch simple errors in word forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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