Band 9.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 9.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 9.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs, measured in millions, in four sectors of the US economy—manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare—from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, manufacturing employed the largest number of people for most of the period, although its figures declined after reaching a peak in 1980. By contrast, employment in retail and healthcare increased substantially, with healthcare experiencing the most dramatic growth. Agriculture remained comparatively small and declined overall.
In 1960, manufacturing accounted for approximately 15 million jobs, considerably more than retail and agriculture, at around 6 million each, while healthcare employed only 2 million people. Manufacturing employment then rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before falling steadily to about 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020.
Retail followed a consistent upward trend throughout the period. Its employment figure increased from 6 million in 1960 to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000, eventually reaching approximately 16 million in 2020. Healthcare also grew considerably, rising from just 2 million jobs in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, before more than doubling to 11 million in 2000 and reaching 16 million by 2020.
In contrast, agriculture experienced an overall decline. Employment fell from around 6 million in 1960 to 3 million in 1980 and remained at this level in 2000, before dropping further to only 2 million in 2020. By the end of the period, healthcare and retail had become the two largest employers, while agriculture had the fewest jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 9.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 9.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 8.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 9.0 |
| Overall | 9.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 9.0
The response is excellent. You have clearly identified the main trends and provided a comprehensive overview of the data. The selection of key features is accurate, and you have successfully made relevant comparisons between the sectors, such as noting that healthcare and retail became the largest employers by the end of the period. The data is used effectively to support the descriptions, and the summary is well-balanced across all four categories. You have fully addressed all parts of the prompt, providing a clear and logical analysis of the changes over the sixty-year timeframe.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 9.0
The response is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving from an introduction and overview to detailed body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'By contrast', 'In 1960', 'then', and 'eventually' are used effectively to guide the reader through the data. The paragraphing is skillful, and the information is presented in a way that is easy to follow. There is a natural flow between sentences, and referencing is precise throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 8.5
You demonstrate a wide and precise range of vocabulary appropriate for an academic report. Phrases such as 'accounted for', 'consistent upward trend', 'dramatic growth', and 'remained comparatively small' show a high level of lexical control. The use of terminology is accurate, and you avoid repetition by using varied synonyms and structures to describe the trends. The vocabulary is sophisticated and contributes to the professional tone of the report. There are no noticeable errors in word choice or collocation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 9.0
The response exhibits a wide range of grammatical structures with full flexibility and accuracy. You effectively use complex sentences, such as 'Manufacturing employment then rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before falling steadily to about 17 million in 2000', which demonstrates excellent control over tense and clause structure. Punctuation is used correctly throughout, and there are no errors that impede communication. The writing is error-free, reflecting a high level of grammatical competence.
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