Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The assigned line graph illustrate the information related to the number of jobs in different four sectors of the economy between 1960 and 2020 in the US.
Overall, it is evident that the number of jobs in agriculture was displayed an overall upwards trend; however, the jobs in healthcare was showed downwards trend in given time period in the US.
To begin with, in 1960, the manufacturing started at 15 millions jobs, peaked at 20 millions in 1980, then dropped steadily to about 13 millions by 2020. The number of agriculture jobs was stood at 6 millions in1960. Afterthat, the jobs were declined from 4 millions in 1980 to 2 millions in 2020.
Proving further, in healthcare sector was gradual increased from 3 millions in 1960 to 16 millions in 2020; However, in 1960, the jobs in retail sector was noticed to be 6 millions in 1960, then reached at 15 millions in 2002. It was stabled almost 16 millions till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that agriculture showed an 'upwards trend,' whereas the graph clearly shows a decline from 6 million to 2 million. Similarly, you claim healthcare showed a 'downwards trend,' while the data shows a clear increase from 3 million to 16 million. These factual errors regarding the data mean the main features are not accurately reported. While you attempt to provide an overview, the misinterpretation of the trends significantly impacts the task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Afterthat,' and 'However.' However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Proving further,' which is not a standard transition for this type of task. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the internal cohesion is occasionally weakened by grammatical errors that make sentences difficult to parse. Overall, the paragraphing is sufficient, but the flow could be improved with more natural linking phrases.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. You use basic terms like 'number of jobs' and 'increased' repeatedly. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'it was stabled' instead of 'it remained stable' or 'it stabilised.' While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, there is little attempt to use less common or more sophisticated lexical items to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated,' 'plateaued,' or 'surged'). Spelling is generally accurate, but the limited range prevents a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('the number of jobs... was displayed,' 'the jobs... was showed') and incorrect verb forms ('the jobs were declined'). You rely mostly on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'the manufacturing started at 15 millions jobs, peaked at 20 millions in 1980, then dropped steadily.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of semicolons and capitalisation after semicolons. These errors are frequent and noticeable.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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