Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph illustrates about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the Us between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, manufacturing has the highest number of jobs and retail is the second highest. Healthcare increased rapidly throughout the timeline. Agriculture declined significantly.
In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing was 15 million which was the highest in the time period and retail and agriculture started at the same point around 6 million whereas healthcare was the lowest around 3 million and after the timeline healthcare showed a great growth.
In 1980, manufacturing was at its peak 20 million which was the highest among all and retail also increased. Healthcare rosed upto 10 million and agriculture declined drastically. In 2000, every sector rose except agriculture and manufacturing. In 2020, manufacturing declined to 13 million. In the case of retail and healthcare both were at same position standing at 16 million. The agriculture sector declined to 2 million in 2000.
To sum up, retail and healthcare showed an impressive growth whereas the other two sectors declined dramatically.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical and lacks a clear, analytical focus on the most significant comparisons. For instance, while you mention that retail and healthcare were at the same position in 2020, you could have more effectively contrasted this with their starting points in 1960. The overview is present but could be more synthesised to highlight the broader economic shifts rather than just listing sector-by-sector changes. The data points are generally accurate, but the report would benefit from more sophisticated grouping of information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and mechanical. Phrases like 'In 1960', 'In 1980', and 'In 2000' are used as the primary means of linking sentences, which makes the flow feel a bit formulaic. There is a need for a wider variety of linking words and better referencing to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. While the overall arrangement is coherent, the lack of varied cohesive devices limits the score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to describe the trends clearly. You use some appropriate terms such as 'declined significantly', 'at its peak', and 'drastically'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'illustrates about' (the verb 'illustrate' does not take 'about') and 'rosed' (the past tense of 'rise' is 'rose'). To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to data trends and avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. For example, 'the Us' should be 'the US', and 'healthcare rosed upto' should be 'healthcare rose to'. Additionally, there are some punctuation issues and awkward phrasing, such as 'after the timeline healthcare showed a great growth'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms will improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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