Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The four sectors of of the economy includes manufacturing, retail, agriculture and health. Number of jobs was between 2 million and nearly 20 million between year 1960 and 2020.

Jobs in manufacturing stood highest with the number of jobs till 2000, and gradually decreased in 2020. Moreover, agriculture also reported lower jobs in 2020 then jobs in 1960. On the other side of the economy, retail and agriculture did rapid increment in 2020.

Jobs in retail and healthcare grew parellar between 1960 and 2000. Jobs in retail was 6 million, 10 million and 15 million in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Jobs in healthcare was 2 million, 5 million and 11,illion in 1960, 1980 and 2000. in 2020 jobs in both retail and healthcare reached to nearly 16b million.

Job in manufacture was 15 million in 1980. It reported increment in 1980 by reaching to 20 million and started dropping in 2020 to 16 million and stopped at a4 million in 2020. On the other side of jobs in economy, jobs in agriculture was 6 million in 1960. Which decreased to 4 million in 1980, and stood stable in 2000, and then fell to 3 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides data points, but the analysis is inconsistent and contains factual inaccuracies. For example, you state that manufacturing 'gradually decreased in 2020' and then later provide contradictory figures, such as 'stopped at a4 million'. The overview is weak, as it merely restates the range of jobs rather than highlighting the significant trends, such as the decline in manufacturing versus the growth in healthcare. The data reporting is often confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends accurately. To improve, focus on identifying the most significant changes and grouping the sectors by their performance (e.g., those that grew versus those that declined).

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression within paragraphs is often disrupted by confusing data presentation and repetitive sentence structures. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover' and 'On the other side', they are sometimes used incorrectly or do not effectively link the ideas. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors. To reach a higher band, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that transitions between sentences flow naturally rather than feeling like a list of disconnected statistics.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You frequently use the word 'jobs' and 'number of' to describe the data, which makes the writing feel monotonous. There are also errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'parellar' (parallel), '11,illion' (11 million), and 'a4 million'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to demonstrate a higher level of control. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of verbs and nouns to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', 'surged', or 'employment figures' instead of repeating 'number of jobs'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The four sectors... includes'), incorrect prepositions, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'did rapid increment'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often contain errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and numbers. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and pluralisation. Increasing the variety of sentence structures will also help improve your score.

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