Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This line graph illustrates the data of four major job categories in the US from [redacted phone].

Overall, the graph shows that the manufacturing sector has always had the highest number of the jobs. While agriculture sector has the lowest jobs and there is a further decline in recent years.

In 1960 healthcare sector had less that 5million jobs and it has gradually increased to about 15million in 2020. While the retail sector had the highest number of jobs in 1960, and it peaked at 20 million in 1980, saw a steady decline until it reached below 15 million in 2020.

On the one hand, the retail sector speedily increased over the years, the number of jobs in retail sector improved since 1960 with just more that 5million to above 15million. On the other hand, agriculture sector was providing more than 5 million jobs in 1960 saw a decline over the years and is now accommodating less that 5 million people in this sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state the manufacturing sector had the highest number of jobs, yet the graph shows retail and healthcare trends. Furthermore, the data points mentioned (e.g., retail peaking at 20 million in 1980) are not clearly supported by the visual evidence provided. The summary is somewhat disjointed, and the comparison between sectors is inconsistent. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the labels with the lines and provide a more accurate overview of the trends, specifically focusing on the start and end points and any notable fluctuations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The response is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression is hindered by repetitive information and contradictory statements. For example, you discuss the retail sector in two separate paragraphs with conflicting descriptions of its growth. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, but they are not always employed effectively to contrast the data correctly. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed at certain points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'increased', 'improved', and 'declined'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'accommodating less that 5 million people in this sector'. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little attempt to use more sophisticated or academic terminology to describe the trends shown in the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in agriculture sector'), incorrect prepositions, and punctuation errors (e.g., 'less that' instead of 'less than'). Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent in places. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the overall score. Focusing on proofreading for basic errors like missing articles and comparative structures would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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