Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The four sectors of the economy includes manufacturing, retail, agriculture and health. Number of jobs were between 2 million and nearly 20 million between 1960 and 2020.
Number jobs in manufacturing stood highest till 2000, and gradually decreased in 2020. Moreover, agriculture also reported lower jobs in 2020 then jobs in 1960. On the other side of the economy, retail and agriculture did rapid increment in 2020.
Jobs in retail and healthcare grew parallel between 1960 and 2000. Jobs in retail were 6 million, 10 million and 15 million in 1960, 1980 and 2000. Jobs in healthcare were 2 million, 5 million and 11million in 1960, 1980 and 2000. in 2020 jobs in both retail and healthcare reached to nearly 16 million.
Jobs in manufacture were 15 million in 1980. It reported increment in 1980 by reaching to 20 million and started dropping in 2020 to 16 million and stopped at 4 million in 2020. On the other side of jobs in economy, jobs in agriculture was 6 million in 1960. Which decreased to 4 million in 1980, and stood stable in 2000, and then fell to 3 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a general overview of the trends, but it suffers from significant inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, you state that manufacturing 'stopped at 4 million in 2020' while also claiming it reached 20 million in 1980, which contradicts the visual evidence of the graph. Furthermore, you mention retail and agriculture had a 'rapid increment' in 2020, which is factually incorrect based on the provided data. While you attempt to report main features, the misinterpretation of the figures prevents a clear and accurate summary. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your descriptions with the graph axes and data points before writing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression is hindered by the factual errors and some awkward transitions. For example, the phrase 'On the other side of the economy' is used repeatedly in a way that does not always logically connect the ideas. Cohesive devices are present, such as 'Moreover' and 'between 1960 and 2000', but they are sometimes used mechanically. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors, making the overall flow feel somewhat disjointed.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'number of jobs' and 'jobs in'. There are also some word-choice errors, such as 'did rapid increment' (which is not a standard collocation) and 'manufacture' (when referring to the sector, 'manufacturing' is the correct noun). To improve, try to incorporate more varied reporting verbs and nouns related to economic trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'upward trajectory'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The four sectors... includes') and incorrect preposition usage ('lower jobs in 2020 then jobs in 1960' should be 'than'). Additionally, there are punctuation and capitalization slips, such as '11million' and 'in 2020' starting a sentence with a lowercase letter. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and correct comparative structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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