Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph illustrates information about many jobs among the four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing job was in the highest and healthcare job was at the bottom at start. However, by the end of the period, agriculture was ranked last and healthcare peaked with retail jobs.

In 1960, the number of jobs in manufacturing was the highest, at 15 millions. It then peaked in 1980 at 20 millions jobs and this was the highest ever. It then started to decline and by 2020, it ends with around 13 millions jobs which was third in rank. Furthermore, healthcare jobs start with the lowest and then there was a considerable increase in jobs of this field and in 2020, it ranked first with 15 millions jobs.

Retail and agriculture jobs start from the same number of 6 millions but there was a significant increase in retail jobs and it ends with same number of jobs as healthcare in 2020, which was around 13 millions. On the other hand, agriculture jobs faced a rapid declined in jobs and it ends with 2 millions jobs in 2020, which was the lowest among the four sectors of the economy in the US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends over the 60-year period. You successfully highlighted the peak of manufacturing and the significant growth in healthcare. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you stated healthcare was at the bottom at the start, but the graph shows agriculture and retail were lower or equal in 1960. Additionally, the description of the retail sector ending at the same number as healthcare is slightly imprecise based on the visual data. To reach a higher band, ensure that your overview captures the most significant trends more accurately and that your data points are consistently precise.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into four paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally easy to follow. You use some cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand' to link ideas. However, the use of referencing is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions between sentences feel slightly repetitive. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid, rather than relying on a standard structure for every paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'peaked', 'decline', 'considerable increase', and 'rapid declined'. However, there are several errors in word form and collocation, such as 'manufacturing job was in the highest' (should be 'manufacturing jobs were the highest') and 'rapid declined' (should be 'rapid decline'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms in your descriptions of trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with pluralization and verb tense consistency, such as '15 millions' (should be '15 million'), 'healthcare job was at the bottom' (should be 'healthcare jobs were at the bottom'), and 'it ends with' (should be 'it ended with'). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the information. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural nouns when discussing statistics.

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