Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE LINE GRAP DEPICT THE DATA OF JOBS IN FOUR SECTORS OF THE ECONOMY IN THE US IN THE GIVEN PERIOD 1960 TO 2020.
After analyzing, the illustration it evident that in 1960 the jobs in manufacturing sectors was 15millions and increased 5millions more in the year 1980.It was slightly decreased in year 2000 that is almost 16millions jobs and continuously followed same trend filly reached at 13 million jobs in 2020. Shifting to agriculture sector in 1960 it was provide 5million job to economy but, it was decreased in 1980 that is, 3 million jobs and followed same trend to following years that is 2000 and 2020.
Probing ahead ,the retail sector provide jobs in the economy in 1960 was approximately 5 millions ,and it was seen dramatically increase in coming40 years that is 15 millions and remain constant till the year 2020.Moving ahead, in healthcare sector ,in 1960 they provide only 1 million jobs ,but this sector seen drastically rise during the years and finally reached in15million in 2020
Overall ,the agriculture sector provide minimum jobs in the economy ,but the manufacturing sector provide maximum jobs in the US economy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is somewhat simplistic and does not fully capture the comparative significance of the data. The summary of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate regarding the peak and final figures, which affects the clarity of the reporting. While the main features are highlighted, the analysis lacks a more sophisticated synthesis of the data, which is necessary for a higher band score. The response addresses the prompt but could be improved by providing a more precise comparison between the sectors throughout the period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'Moving ahead' and 'Shifting to'. Some transitions are awkward, such as 'Probing ahead', which is not standard academic phrasing. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by grammatical errors that disrupt the flow of information. Paragraphing is present, but the logical connection between the overview and the body paragraphs could be more seamless.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'depict the data' (should be 'depicts the data') and 'filly reached' (likely a typo for 'finally'). The use of 'drastically rise' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'a drastic rise' or 'rose drastically'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, but the lack of control over word forms and collocations limits the score. More precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated' or 'plateaued', would enhance the quality of the writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'jobs in manufacturing sectors was' (should be 'were') and 'retail sector provide' (should be 'provided'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect comma usage. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the response from reaching a higher band. The writing relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and the errors in tense consistency are noticeable throughout the text.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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