Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information regarding the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is evident that jobs in retail and healthcare sectors increased as compared to the manufacturing jobs which decreased dramatically while the agricultural jobs remained almost stable over the given period.

Furthermore, it is clear from the graph that the manufacturig jobs increased dramatically from 15 millions to 20 millions from 1960 up to 1980 then declined sharply to almost 14 million in 2020. Similarly, a number of agricultural jobs fell from around 6 million to approximately 2 million from 1960 to 1980, after that stable trend observed with marginal fall up to 2020. In contrast, the healthcare jobs steadily increased from nearly 2 millions to 15 millions from 1960 to 2020. Likewise, the retail jobs raise about 6 millions to 15 millions from 1960 to 2000, then stable trend is seen from 2000 to 2020.

In short, manufacturing jobs are decreasing meanwhile healthcare jobs are increasing inspite of almost fluctuating trend in retail and agricultural jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. You have provided a clear overview and supported your points with data from the graph. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting; for instance, you state that manufacturing jobs increased to 20 million by 1980, whereas the graph shows a peak closer to 1980 but the figures should be interpreted with more precision. Additionally, the summary in the final paragraph contradicts your earlier analysis by stating retail and agricultural jobs have a 'fluctuating' trend, which is not fully supported by the data provided. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data points are accurate and that your summary consistently reflects the main trends described in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Similarly', 'In contrast', and 'Likewise' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and the progression of ideas within the paragraphs could be smoother. The final paragraph is slightly repetitive and does not add new insight, which slightly affects the overall flow. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive links and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, distinct focus that contributes to the overall narrative of the data.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'steadily increased', 'declined sharply', and 'marginal fall'. There are some spelling errors, such as 'manufacturig' and 'inspite', and some awkward phrasing like 'retail jobs raise about 6 millions'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, focus on correct collocations and ensure you are using the appropriate verb forms (e.g., 'rose' instead of 'raise') and check your spelling carefully before finalizing your response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'a number of agricultural jobs fell... after that stable trend observed' (missing auxiliary verb) and '15 millions' (should be '15 million'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles when discussing numerical data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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