Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates data of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and health sector of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is clear from the graph that retail and health sector was increased over the period. On the other hand, manufacturing and agriculture sector presents decline trend throughout the period.

Look at the graph, Retail sector rose steadily 6 to 15 millions jobs from 1960 to 2000, and remain stable from 2000 to 2020. The healthcare department also surged 3 to 16 millions jobs constantly between 1960 and 2020.

In contrast, the manufacturing industry represented 15 to 20 millions workers soared rapidly from 1960 to 1980 and then the trend figured that it dropped jobs constantly 20 millions to from 1980 to 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is incomplete. You have omitted data for the agriculture sector entirely, despite it being listed in the prompt. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing and contains inaccurate reporting of the figures provided in the graph. To improve, ensure you cover all categories presented in the visual data and provide a more detailed overview that highlights the most significant changes or contrasts across the entire 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical. Phrases like 'Look at the graph' are informal and not appropriate for an academic report. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph where the description of the manufacturing trend becomes difficult to follow. To improve, use a wider range of linking words such as 'subsequently', 'in contrast', or 'meanwhile' to connect your sentences more fluidly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic verbs like 'rose', 'surged', and 'dropped'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'presents decline trend' instead of 'shows a downward trend' and 'healthcare department' instead of 'healthcare sector'. To improve, try to incorporate more varied vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stagnant', or 'experienced a sharp decline', and ensure you use the correct terminology for the sectors provided in the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains several grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage ('the retail and health sector'), subject-verb agreement ('retail and health sector was increased'), and prepositional phrases ('rose steadily 6 to 15 millions'). The sentence structures are relatively simple, and the attempt at more complex reporting in the final paragraph is marred by awkward phrasing and missing words ('dropped jobs constantly 20 millions to from 1980 to 2020'). Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring that your verb tenses are consistent when describing historical data.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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