Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph shows about how the number of jobs changed in four sectors of the US economy, which are manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, between 1960 to 2020.
In 1960, manufacturing was the highest sector with about 15 million jobs, which is much more than the other sectors. It's continued to rise until 1980, when it reach a peak of 20 million, but after this it start to decline steadily, reaching around 12 million jobs by 2020.
Retail and healthcare, on the other hand, had a different trend. Retail employment rose gradually thorough the years, overtaking manufacturing around 2000 and it reached about 18 million jobs in 2020. Healthcare had the most significant growth of all sectors, increasing from only 2 million jobs in 1960 to nearly 19 million in 2020, which made it almost as big as retail. Agriculture stayed as the smallest sector during this whole period, decreasing slowly from 5 million to less than 3 million jobs.
Overall, we can see there was a big shift away from manufacturing and agriculture jobs towards retail and healthcare sector.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response effectively covers all parts of the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons. You clearly highlighted the shift in employment patterns, specifically the decline in manufacturing and agriculture versus the growth in retail and healthcare. The overview provided in the final paragraph is concise and captures the essence of the data. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurate; for instance, you mentioned manufacturing started at 15 million in 1960, but the graph shows it closer to 17-18 million. Precision in data reporting is essential for a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors, and a summary. The use of cohesive devices such as 'In 1960', 'on the other hand', and 'Overall' helps guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different trends. The progression of ideas is smooth, and the relationship between the sectors is clearly established. The text is easy to follow, and the logical flow is maintained throughout the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information clearly. Phrases like 'significant growth', 'declining steadily', and 'big shift' are appropriate for a report of this nature. However, there is some repetition of basic verbs, and some word choices could be more precise. For example, 'highest sector' is slightly awkward; 'sector with the highest number of jobs' would be more accurate. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would further enhance the quality of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors that prevent a higher score. For example, 'It's continued to rise' should be 'It continued to rise', and 'when it reach a peak' should be 'when it reached a peak'. Additionally, 'it start to decline' should be 'it started to decline'. These errors indicate a lack of consistent control over verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, which are necessary for higher band descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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