Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Here the given line graph illustrates information about jobs availablity in four diverse sectors of the economy in the US throughout the period 1960 and 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare segment showed rise while despite starting at lowest the agriculture sector showed significant rise. in addition despite having rise in mid years the figure started decline again for manufacturing.
To start with, manufacturing were overall high and started at 15 millions jobs initially which was followed by a rise of 20 in 1980 before declining to around 13 millions in 2020. Similarly agriculture accounted for approximately 5 million jobs in 1960 after which it remained stable at around 4 million in 1980 and 2000 before falling slightly to 3 million in 2020.
Moreover, retail segment stood up at around 5 million in 1060 which was three times the figure for 2000 at 15 millions followed by small rise of 16 million in 2020. Lastly, healthcare were lowest at 3 million in 1960 which after it rose significantly to 16 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends, such as the growth in healthcare and the decline in manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, the claim that agriculture showed a 'significant rise' contradicts the data, which shows a decline from 5 million to 3 million. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector is confusing, as the data shows a peak in 1980 followed by a decline, but the text mentions a 'rise of 20' which is not supported by the graph. To improve, ensure that the overview accurately reflects the main trends and that specific data points are cited correctly to support your analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'To start with', 'Similarly', and 'Moreover' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'retail segment stood up at around 5 million in 1060'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used more naturally would help elevate the score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'jobs availablity' should be 'job availability', and 'retail segment stood up' is not standard academic English. There are also minor spelling errors like '1060' instead of '1960'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on using more accurate terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained constant', would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement issues are common, such as 'manufacturing were overall high' and 'healthcare were lowest'. There are also errors with prepositions and articles, such as 'throughout the period 1960 and 2020' (should be 'between 1960 and 2020'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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