Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates information about the four different jobs in the us, which is the part of the economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Retail and Health care sector showed an upward trend, whereas Manufacturing and agriculture faced steady decline over the period.

In 1960, Manufacturing had 15 million jobs before increasing to 20 million in 1980. By 2000, it stood slightly above 15 million. The number of jobs in agriculture was approximately 6 million in 1960. From 1980 to 2020 it hovered around below 5 million.

Jobs in Retail was around 5 million in 1960. In 1980, the number of job in this sector reached 10 million. By 2000, the numbers increase to 15 million, and went above 15 million in 2000. Health care sector also experienced massive surge over the period. In 1960, its shares was standing around 2 million, however it spiked dramatically just above 15 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons. You successfully highlighted the upward trends in Retail and Health care versus the decline in Manufacturing and agriculture. However, the report could be improved by ensuring data accuracy; for instance, you mention the year 2000 twice for Retail, which is confusing. Additionally, while the main features are present, the overview could be more integrated to better highlight the contrast between the sectors. The data points are generally accurate, but ensure that the years and figures are clearly linked to avoid ambiguity.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, and you use some cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'however', and 'by 2000'. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the repetitive structure in the final paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the declining sectors from the growing ones, which helps the reader follow the information easily. To reach a higher band, try to vary your linking words and improve the flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trend', 'steady decline', 'hovered', and 'massive surge'. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'its shares was standing', which is slightly unnatural. You also repeat 'number of jobs' and 'in 1960/1980/2000' frequently, which limits the sophistication of your writing. To improve, try to use synonyms or different ways to describe numerical changes, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'witnessed a significant increase', to show a more flexible range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the four different jobs in the us' (should be 'sectors'), 'the number of job' (should be 'jobs'), and 'the numbers increase' (should be 'increased'). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic tense consistency and pluralization will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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