Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
As the graph illustrate about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 11960 and 2020.
As shown in the graph the number of jobs of manufacturing in 1960 is about 15 million following this after the recent years like in 1990 the job has increased to 20 million While the job of retail in 1960 was so low about 5 million, in 2000 both manufacturing and retail job was near 15 million, while retain job improves after years and in 2020 the number of jobs increase to more than 15 million.
While the number of jobs of agriculture and healthcare in 1990 remain under 5 to 10 million whereas the number of jobs for healthcare have a massive increase of about more than 15 million in 2020 and the job for agriculture still remains below 5 million.
In conclusion the job of three sectors except agriculture was nearly 15 million. in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task by identifying the four sectors and describing some trends. However, the overview is weak and lacks a clear summary of the main features or significant trends. The data reporting is inconsistent; for instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is inaccurate regarding the 1990 figure, and the comparison between sectors is underdeveloped. The conclusion is also quite limited, failing to synthesize the overall trends effectively. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview paragraph after the introduction that highlights the most significant changes across the entire period, and verify that the data points cited are accurate according to the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is hindered by repetitive phrasing and a lack of effective cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often mechanical or missing, such as the abrupt shift between the discussion of manufacturing and retail. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four sectors. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'in contrast', 'subsequently', 'meanwhile') to connect ideas more fluidly and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'job' and 'increase'. There are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'the graph illustrate' and 'retain job improves'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the data with precision, which is expected in an Academic Task 1 response. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'peaked', or 'experienced a significant rise', and avoid repeating the same nouns and verbs throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the graph illustrate'), tense usage (e.g., 'the number of jobs... is'), and sentence structure, such as the opening sentence which is a fragment rather than a complete sentence. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect capitalization. While there is an attempt at complex structures, they are often faulty. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring subject-verb agreement will significantly improve the accuracy and readability of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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